Instead of Self-Pity, Praise God

More fun with my new stylus and art program on my iPad Mini. I bought the mini with the intention of having a portable sketch pad only to discover that it was impossible to draw a straight line on the mini with a variety of styluses. I was feeling MIGHTY sorry for myself. Discouraged, I kept researching and saw the 53 Pencil stylus on sale on Amazon. Fully returnable, I decided it was worth a try. 

It worked!!! I could draw anything! I don’t love all aspects of the 53 Paper art application that is specifically made for the stylus. For one thing, I cannot change brush size so I am limited in applying color with it, but it has a very nice watercolor effect. I had a lot of fun playing with it despite its limitations. 

It proves one of the important lessons of life. Nothing is perfect so you do the best you can with what you are given.

Here is another example of that. I am on a cancer drug called Arimidex  for four more years. I have been on it about a year since my bout with breast cancer. In the past year, my normally very low blood pressure has been steadily rising. At the doctor’s suggestion, I bought a blood pressure cuff last week to start monitoring my BP. I have gotten readings like 160/100 (gasp!) and this morning, 150/30 (???). It is possible I am doing it all wrong...but more than likely, my blood pressure is going crazy.

I had asked one of my many doctors last week if the Arimidex could cause high BP and she said NO.

So this morn, I researched it myself. Get this!  It is well known that arimidex can cause high BP and it becomes tricky controlling it since so many meds interact. I will be calling my oncologist today.

But my point is, (besides requesting prayer), both high BP and cancer are very terrible. It may be difficult to treat both. Somehow, the doctor and I will have to arrive at a reasonable compromise that is the best of an imperfect situation. I could wallow in self-pity. I could seek revenge and be bitter towards the doctor who said there was no link between the drug and high BP, or the doctors who prescribed it in the first place without warning me. Would any of those responses help deal with the issue now?

All of us struggle to live in the best of an imperfect situation. We exist in a world that is tarnished deeply by sin. Evil, the result of sinful choices, destroys any hope of a peaceful, harmonious society. We all rail against it, knowing this is not fair....this is not how it should be. We know that because we all have that standard of what SHOULD be since God has planted that in each of us. 

We long deeply for what we cannot have here on earth. God warns us in this world you WILL have trouble...

Our sermon yesterday was wonderful (as usual) about the weeping prophet Jeremiah. We are in a section of that book where poor, suffering Jeremiah sees no end in sight to his troubles  and is overcome with self pity. He is indeed pitiable. He does not deserve what he is getting.

But the pastor made the point that while we cannot always change our circumstances, we can affect how we respond to them. Self-pity will never bring us to the place God wants us to go. In fact, instead of pitying Jeremiah, God responds with this: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman.”

Mind you, Jeremiah has been speaking God’s word to a stubborn, rebellious people for forty years. They have persecuted and ignored him. God’s response at first blush seems a little harsh. But God recognizes that when we become self-pitying with a self-righteous cry about the unfairness of our situation, bitterness quickly takes root. Bitterness and desire for revenge is exactly where Jeremiah was headed. God knew the only antidote was to return to God, keep the focus on God, trust God. 

The takeaway: Repent of how we have wandered from God in thought or deed, and He will restore us that we may serve Him. 

The chapter ends with God’s promise that He is with Jeremiah to rescue and save him.

That is His promise to all of us. He doesn’t say when and He doesn’t say that He will alter the terrible situation we face. He says He will be with us and will not let the enemy overcome us. That thought in and of itself is bringing my blood pressure down. And my new stylus works on other art programs that are much better than the 53 Paper limited one.

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“Why is my pain unending and my wound grievous and incurable? You are to me like a deceptive brook, like a spring that fails. Therefore this is what the Lord says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you,” declares the Lord.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭15:18-20‬ ‭NIV‬‬