Left Behind

The danger with computers is that they are smarter than me. So I do what appears to be a simple task, and suddenly emails the size of Tyrannosaurus Rex are leaping from my screen, and thundering across my living room ready to devour me.
I want desperately to get back to the keyboard to take back what I have started, but the emails have teeth and claws that are snapping and scratching and multiplying. All I can do is frantically push another button as I race by and hope it is the one that will contain the monsters.

It seemed a simple thing, transfering my blog users list to a google group so I could email the daily reminder from my ipod when I travel. It apparently was not. Other monsters were roaring in living rooms all across the USA and no one could get rid of them. I am pretty sure there is a "monster unsubscribe" button for google groups, but I guess we all were under such ferocious attack that not one of us could find it. The funny thing is I have used the google group for months, without problems. I don't know what egg hatched the monster, but I am lucky to come out of it alive, and not too badly wounded. On one of my passes, while the terrifying monsters pursued me, I did manage to disable comments from the google group users.... but they seem to still be coming. All I can surmise is that self replicating life now lurks in that evil metal box on my desk, and I am forever to be running in fear.

In the midst of this onslaught, I packed for my trip to see my parents, and to see Anders. The dogs, oblivious to the horrifying creatures that were snatching and grabbing at me from the computer, lay next to the suitcases, hoping that when the car was loaded, they would not be left behind. Their fear was to be realized. They will be left behind, though Arvo will be here with them. All day they lay by the suitcases while I did battle with the computer. It was a gruesome day for all of us.

Several kind people wrote to commiserate, offer condolences, suggestions, and their own experiences with the brutal ether-beasts. While I know it is not personal (usually), it was still traumatizing to face such an onslaught of unsubscribe requests. In the relative peace of this morning with only 3,000 more requests (and that is more members than are on the list- people all over the world are now proactively requesting to be unsubscribed even BEFORE they are subscribed.....), the dogs are still lying by the suitcases.

I know how they feel. Whenever I walk into a room where I just saw a loved family member and the room is empty, I feel a moment of panic. I am always convinced Jesus has returned, grabbed up my beloveds, and left me behind. I collapse on the couch with the same feeling of rejection that I fought not to feel as I faced the monstrous quantity of unsubscribes.
"But Lord!" I call out, "Why!!!! I have loved you, tried to follow you, sought you all my life...or at least most of it. How could you leave me?"
and then as I collapse in tears, a son or daughter wanders in from a back room and looks at me.
"Why are you crying?"
"I have been left behind! And I so wanted to see strawberry fields forever...."
My child shakes his head, and as I glance up, I realize I have been reprieved. There is still hope.

Exodus 10:26
²⁶ Our livestock too must go with us; not a hoof is to be left behind. We have to use some of them in worshiping the LORD our God, and until we get there we will not know what we are to use to worship the LORD."