Carry Us Forever

Families are like dominoes. When one stands, they all stand. When one falls, they all tumble down. That is what happened to us. Anders came home from Boston sick, and then I got sick, and yesterday Matt and Arvo got REALLY sick, and Asherel was still fighting it off but the battle is undecided there. It has been less than the perfect ideal I had envisioned for Christmas, with two adult progeny who may not be home for Christmas many more years as they develop families of their own. At no time over this break did all of us feel well. I have been sick nearly the entire visit of Anders, and am still far from healthy.

Most meals had at least one member feeling like puking, actually puking, asleep after puking, coughing, unable to speak due to coughing, or asleep after coughing. The remaining healthy ones wore gas masks and germ warfare suits, making it difficult to practice proper formal dining etiquette, which is, as you can imagine, a must in our home.

Mere mortal mothers may not handle this situation with all the grace and understanding and philosophical acceptance it called for. Mere mortal mothers would be unable to stretch and find God in even this overwhelming disappointment as her first born son she sees once or twice a year returns to Boston today. But this mother did what most other mothers would not..... this mother cried her eyes out til they were purple. The grocery store cashier seemed a little perplexed as to why this mother was wearing sunglasses at 9 pm on an emergency run for puke-stoppage supplies.

Go ahead. Scream at me in the comment section about how immature and un-spiritually I am handling this. I know there are people in way worse shape and in all likelihood, we will all recover from this onslaught. It is really a deeper issue than just a whole family being sick during perhaps the last time we will all gather, maybe for a long long time. As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I have been reading Exodus, the story of Jewish persecution for thousands of years, culminating finally in their homeland Israel being made into a nation. The evil perpetrated against my people, against God's people is enough to make anyone with a heart weepy. But then there was the recent terrorist on the airplane, the news that Iran will have a bomb next year, and so much selfish unkindness exhibited by people with all kinds of excuses why it was ok for them to behave that way. I felt a crushing dismay at the strength of Evil, of the Adversary, and the attacks. I don't want to wait for evil to end. I want it to end now.

My Bible study this morning was about God's presence in the midst of illness (!) and tragedy. I love how God is repeatedly described as a shepherd, protecting His flock from the wolves and dangers of the night. I particularly like the verse that inspired the painting for this blog,
"Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever." Psalm 28: 8-9. There are times when even just huddling like sheep protected by a kind shepherd is not enough. Sometimes He has to carry me. I understand that symbolically, but I am not always sure how that happens in my reality. However, as the morning sun tiptoes through my newly cleaned windows, I wait in anticipation.