Desperate for Friends

Sister Holly told me that if I was building a platform for readers of my best selling books that I intend to publish someday, I needed more than 40 friends on Facebook.
I never use Face Book. I really don't like Face Book as it leads to humiliation when your own children won't accept you as friends, and also, the last time I tried to use it, I invited the whole planet to be my friend by accident.
But Holly insisted I needed to have more friends on FB, so she sent me instructions. I followed her instructions and promptly repeated the same dopey mistake I did years ago. I invited everyone I had ever emailed to be my friend. Soon my email inbox was filled with notices like the ones thanking me for contacting UVa Financial Aid dept, and they would get back to me soon about whether they wanted to be my friend. President Obama would decide on this friendship thing upon his return from spreading Hope and Change around the world. All the book agents and publishers I have written in the past year sent me form letter rejections..... again.... as if once was not enough. The "win tickets" department of the Newspaper told me to sit tight. They may not be my friend, but I may have won tickets to see The Nutcracker Suite.