Asherel pointed out that the lightbulb was burning a hole in the shade. I looked inside the lampshade. She was correct. At any moment, our environmentally incorrect bulb was going to start a conflagration, ending no doubt in an immense carbon footprint as the house burned down. Rather than bring on the ire of Al Gore, I felt the best course of action was to change to the new energy saving lightbulbs that require a hazmat team be notified should they ever break. I kid you not. If you have never read the cautionary advice on how to deal with a broken eco-bulb, it is quite astonishing. You are to wear a mask and gloves, collect all the pieces and triple bag them, discard the gloves, vacuum the entire region, place the vacuum bag in a triple plastic bag, and then build a concrete structure 20 feet under ground to throw the bags away. If you don't believe me, google it.
Nonetheless, I opened the package of eco bulbs. The promo on the front of the package caught my eye. Again, I never make things up. I am a nonfiction writer. This is what it actually said:
"Lasts up to 5 years, guaranteed."
I thought about that. The only way that I could claim false advertising is if the bulb lasted MORE than five years.
I wondered if the suits in Manhattan were snickering over the wool they pulled over the gullible public's eye on this one.... or were they all thinking they had offered a claim that was worth something?
So many amazing products claiming to do so many amazing things. Everything tastes better with Blue Bonnet on it. I just don't think so. And how about this one- the all purpose cracker? Have you ever tried using it to wash the car?
At Christmas in particular, we are so bombarded with all the astonishing products that can do everything but make my mother eat lima beans. One swipe through the mall, and I am promised if I had enough money, I would live forever, have a model's face, and write a better Constitution.
Meanwhile, with little fanfare, and no glitzy packaging, a little baby was born in a manger, or maybe a cave depending on the translation you are reading. There are no guarantees for health, happiness, or loss of cellulite. In fact, if you read carefully, we are promised trouble, trial, and temptations. The only redeeming claim is a simple one- believe and be saved. Surely the God of all creation could come up with better marketing! But somehow, the image of a baby, of God made so tiny and sweet and vulnerable draws me near. I love that symbol- the clash of concepts God is forever putting before me: an almighty, omniscient, all powerful creator of the universe juxtaposed with the tender, helpless, defenseless, naked creation. A baby born to die. Death that brings life. A lamb among lions, a flower blooming in the snow. Faith in things unseen....Christmas greed and excess bumped up against a humble man with no place to lay his head, dying for crimes he didn't commit, that the darkness might be lit.... and the light last more than five years, guaranteed.
Wow!! This was powerful.. thank you:)
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