Before the Lord

"Best intentions become regrettable sin and simple fatigue becomes uncaring action." This was the warning in my Bible study today from the Moravian Daily Texts. This is so true! I certainly know about fatigue and best intentions. Sadly, sin is always crouching at the door, particularly when we are vulnerable through pride and weariness.

Yesterday was my third solid day of hours and hours drawing for the upcoming pro-life Resource Center fundraiser, and then I had scheduled an "author takeover" with a Facebook book club in the evening. For an hour, I was to talk about my books and field questions. It was right when I often go to bed. My author take-over hour was to be followed immediately by a different author take-over.

During the author take-over, I was encouraged to start several different "threads" or discussions, and then go back and forth engaging the members. It was all through typed comments - no video, or audio. It was much more difficult than I had thought. I had trouble even staying caught up with one thread, let alone a few. I finally gave up and just stayed with the single thread. It was a lot of fun. Many, if not most of the members are authors themselves. I thought the hour would drag, but the members asked lots of questions and it flew by. I took the opportunity (as I always try to do) to talk about God. And before I knew it, my time was up. I don't know if I will get any book sales from it, but I did get to talk about my faith and the source of my inspiration. The next author had started his thread...he writes about dark erotica.

I wanted to support other authors but I just could not. There is little less offensive to me than the erotica genre, and throw the word "dark" in, and I am out of there. I hoped my discussion of God would linger. In my weariness, it struck me with great dismay. There are starkly opposing world views everywhere I turn. I know God wins in the end, but the battle until then is not for the faint-hearted. I saw the titles of some of his erotic work, and thought of the abortion mill where tomorrow I will counsel pregnant women to choose life, not abortion. The majority of  them are unmarried, and I wondered about how best to fight for what I believe in with a culture that finds sexual liberty outside marriage desirable. I quickly exited the book club discussion.

I am reading Isaiah right now, and just hit a passage about  Hezekiah, a king who sought God, coming against the taunts and threats of God's enemies. When he receives a letter from the enemy, we are told he immediately "reads it and spreads it out before the Lord." This is what I need to do more of! Take no action when confronted with sin, or evil, or despair before spreading it out before the Lord.

As I went to bed, I noticed a problem with one of the "final" drawings for the fund-raiser. Asherel, my daughter is helping me with the technical aspects of the computer files. It has taken us both several hours over several days. I sent her the file to let her know we weren't done. I fell asleep quickly, dreaming about driving a bus, beyond the size of anything I had ever driven, down narrow, winding streets.

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Isaiah 41: 10
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 37: 14-20
14 Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers, and read it; and Hezekiah went up to the house of the Lord, and spread it before the Lord. 15 And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord:16 "O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, enthroned above the cherubim, you are the God, you alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth; you have made heaven and earth. 17 Incline your ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; and hear all the words of Sennacherib, which he has sent to mock the living God. 18 Truly, O Lord, the kings of Assyria have laid waste all the nations and their lands, 19 and have cast their gods into the fire. For they were no gods, but the work of men's hands, wood and stone. Therefore they were destroyed. 20 So now, O Lord our God, save us from his hand, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone are the Lord."