Friday, August 13, 2010

The wisdom of youth

I sat in the stands too far away for my shrieks to be heard. Yet I heard the timer say, " Honeybun on deck." That meant that in 3 dogs, Honeybun's turn came. Yet Asherel, with a face as impassive as Buddha, was calmly far off to the side, doing doggy yoga. Honeybun, who was supposed to be streaking like lightning in approximately 3 minutes, was currently taking deep cleansing breaths while flat on her side as Asherel was gently elongating her foreleg muscles and chanting calming sounds like "Ohhhmmmmmm."
Even if I was willing to risk the ire of my easily mortified 13 year old by yelling out ," Are you DAFT? This is not the time to be practicing alternative forms of consciousness, your dog run is minus 3 minutes and counting!" ,she would not have heard me. I was too far away. I tried standing up and waving my arms like a windmill and pointing at the start line. All to no avail. Honeybun and Asherel were meditating.

I was fuming inside. I had waited 5 hours for her 60 second run, which she was now going to miss since she and the dog were apparently currently in Nirvana.

The dog right before Honeybun was finishing up. My heart was racing at a thousand beats a minute causing new capillaries to form in my eyeballs. Asherel stood up calmly, pulled a piece of cheese from her pocket, and Honeybun rocketed to her feet and leaped to attention. The two were on the start line with 3 seconds to spare. I melted across three seats collapsing in a blob of calcium depleted bones.

We are all created into two distinct groups. There are those with fast twitch muscles (me) and those with slow twitch muscles (Asherel). A few lucky ones fall in the middle but most of us are one or the other and want to wring the neck of those in the opposing group. We know that world peace is unattainable this side of heaven and the speed of our muscular set point is the culprit.

Still, as I sank into my seat , sweat dripping from my nose, I felt an odd pride at how
calm and cool my daughter was. Odd that I should be proud of a quality I certainly didn't contribute
to the gene pool. Maybe on my 54 th birthday, I have something left to learn.

Job 32:6-10
So Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite said: "I am young in years, and you are old; that is why I was fearful, not daring to tell you what I know. [7] I thought, `Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' [8] But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. [9] It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right. [10] "Therefore I say: Listen to me; I too will tell you what I know.

- Nothing is impossible with God


  1. How did Honeybun do? Don't leave us hanging.